The Wooden-handled Broom

Those of us that work around high voltage are always imminently aware that one mishap could cause us to provide a ground to that voltage and therefore seize up in the current and be physically unable to escape the very thing that is killing us.  Workers with HV need an attentive person nearby with a long insulating device to knock them out of the ground circuit.  Wooden-handled brooms are a cheap and effective means of saving a life in this manner.  My father worked for Oklahoma Gas and Electric, and I learned early on that when Dad does something dangerous, you get out the wooden-handled broom.

When Merwan began his HV tests, I started carrying a broom around with me.  The thought was, “I can either watch this kid die if he screws up, or I can bump him out of the circuit with my broom.”  At first the other labmates made fun of me, but once I explained they fully understood and agreed with the notion.   Over time the phrase “Get the broom,” came to mean “I’m about to do something moderately dangerous, watch my back.”  However, the phrase “Dial 9 and 1,” still means to this day “I’m about to do something really dangerous.  Watch me and be ready to hit the last 1.”

Begin digression:  I was always willing and ready to hit anyone and everyone with a broom – it just sounds like fun sometimes.  Think about it, everyone you know has probably at some point in your life irritated you enough that smacking them gently with a broom would sound like fun.  In this case, I’d not only get to hit him with a broom, but I’d also be saving his life.  Seriously, does it get better than that?  When I got to my postdoc position, I was surprised to learn that there were no nearby wooden brooms.  There was, however, a selection of short (3’-4’) 2x4s on hand.  That was when I learned that the joy of potentially getting to smack someone with a wooden broom is surpassed by the joy of getting to potentially smack them with a 2x4.  Fer never had to hit me with one, but I could tell by the look on her face that the idea of saving my life by smacking me with a 2x4 would totally make her week.  It would make mine, too, I might have a bruise but I’d still be kicking and that’s all I ever want.  End digression.