The Midtown Fox Strikes Again!!

Breaking News

At 11:02 AM we received this notice from the building manager for the building where my office and half my lab is housed:

"There was a fox attack on a student to the north side of the running trak between MoSE and Tenth street.  GT Police have been notified.  Please inform anyone who travels in this area."

At 4:06 PM we received this follow-up from the same building manager:

"There was a second attack this afternoon around the same area of the path between Tenth street and the MoSE building near the running track. Please avoid this area for your safety."

With no end to the violence in sight, I feel it is my moral duty to compile some information for all of us moving forward in an uncertain world.  Survival is your first duty, and I would like, in this post, to help arm you with the stick of knowledge to avoid becoming victim to this vicious predator.

First and foremost, how can you increase your odds of surviving after an attack? 

If you are bitten, here is the advice from the Humane Society: "Thoroughly wash the wound with soap and water and seek immediate medical attention. Prompt medical care will prevent a rabies infection. Be sure to report the bite to your local animal control agency, police department, or health department." 

• At this point, I find it relevant to remind people what it means to have rabies.  Here's a decent definition: Modern zombies are basically humans acting like animals act when they have rabies. They want to bite you, and if they bite you, you become infected and start to act like them. Your goal is to avoid being bitten at all costs.

What are my chances of becoming a victim?

Fortunately, fox attacks on adult humans appear to be excessively rare, and since adult foxes are usually not much larger than large adult cats, we as much larger humans have an advantage in fending them off. Rumor has it both victims escaped with scratches and rips to their clothing but otherwise unharmed. I did a search, and it appears that the UK has a significantly higher rate of fox attacks on humans than the US.  Of the internet search, here are the most recent cases I can find.

• In Massachusetts, July 2018, a fox attacked two humans. Both were bitten, and in once case the woman's daughter had to hit the fox on the head with a shovel to make it stop it's violent attack (afterwards, it ran into the woods, true zombie-style).
• In Virginia, February 2018, a fox attacked a couple dogs and two humans.  One human was bitten, and the other lost his shoe in the violent attack.  
• In Georgia, June 2017, there were four attacks on humans.  At least two were bitten.  One woman fended off her attacker with a QuickTrip cup...  more on that later.

What does this mean?  Obviously, despite the law of small sample sizes (being that fox attacks are rare, and fox attacks that make the news rare), in Georgia you are more than three times as likely to be attacked by a fox than nearby states.  (P.S.  That's a BAD STATISTIC.  Don't believe everything you read on the internet, folks.)

How can I prevent becoming a victim?

Remember that awareness of one's surroundings can be paramount to survival in the dangerous city of Atlanta. You never know what small (or small-minded) mammal will be lurking in the bushes waiting to attack, so I've also taken the liberty of copying down some tips from WikiHow for generally avoiding urban attacks that seem relevant to this situation.  Their words are in italics, mine are normal face and blue.

• Be fully aware of your surroundings. Keep an eye on what is going on around you at all times so that you can better detect suspicious activity and protect yourself and your belongings.  Being on your phone, playing Pokemon GO, listening to podcasts on your earbuds, etc... are all examples of how you are NOT paying attention to your surroundings.
• Stay sober. Drugs and alcohol can impair your judgment and your ability to defend yourself physically in the event that you are attacked.  You're going to need those reflexes unless you want to become a rabid fox zombie victim.
• Travel in groups. Criminals and foxes are less likely to attack people in groups as there is strength in numbers. Protect yourself by asking a friend or family member to accompany you to your destination at night; if this is not an option, then consider taking a cab instead.
• Stay in well-lit, densely populated parts of town. Criminals and foxes tend to lurk in dark, deserted streets. This fox, in particular, appears to prefer a particularly less-populated part of campus.  Avoid it!
• Ride a bike. It is much easier for a pickpocket or a fox to attack a person on foot as opposed to a bicycle. If possible, ride a bike to your destination instead of walking, especially if you are traveling by yourself.
• Determine whether you are in danger. If you are walking down the street and suspect that you are being followed, don't be afraid to look behind you and find out for sure. If possible, look the person or the fox directly in the face; this lets them that you are fully aware of what's going on and that you can and will defend yourself in the event of an attack. The fox probably won't care that you've seen it, now that it's a zombie, but at least you will know for sure it's the Midtown Fox and not something worse, like one of the Midtown Raccoon Gang that aren't zombies but attack you for much more sinister reasons.
• Seek safety. The first thing you should do if you think you are being followed is to determine whether you can quickly get out of the situation without having to confront the attacker. 
• Draw attention to yourself. This is the best way to scare off a criminal, as he or she will be afraid of getting recognized or caught. Scream and yell at the top of your lungs, wave your arms in the air, blow a whistle if you have one; do whatever you can to draw attention to the situation. Actually, with a fox with rabies, this has only a minor chance of working. Remember that modern zombie movies basically depict humans acting like caricatures of rabid animals.  If you were in the Walking Dead, you would NOT take this action.
• Put as much distance between the two of you as possible. Run as fast as you can toward safety. This is the course of action I recommend when encountering either rabid foxes or modern zombies.  In Atlanta we have nearly equal chances of encountering both these days...
• Arm yourself for an attack. If screaming and running don't deter the criminal or the fox, then continue moving in the direction of safety, and while you do, pull out any potential weapons you have on you. If you carry pepper spray, now's the time to pull it out of your bag and have it at the ready. Other potential weapons include pocket knives, keys, or heavy objects like textbooks. Keep your weapon in your hand as you continue moving toward safety. One thing taught to me that could be really effective in a tight spot is to hold your car key in your fist with the fob inside the fist and the key sticking out like one of Wolverine's claws. Then you can punch AND lacerate all with one hand.
• Fight back. If the criminal or the fox grabs you and begins to assault you, use whatever weapons you have to physically harm the other person. Poke them in the eyes, kick them in the genitals, scratch them with your nails, spray them with pepper spray, etc. If you have a heavy object like a textbook, try to knock the person unconscious by hitting them on the side of the head. In one story in the AJC, a Gwinnett woman fended off a fox with a QuickTrip cup. Anything can be a weapon if you need it to be.  JUST FIGHT!
• Always report crimes to the police. Once you have made it to safety, it's important to notify the police of what happened. Doing so may help save the lives of other potential victims. Describe the attacker's physical appearance, location, gender, and style of dress to the police to help them track the person down as soon as possible. If it's a fox, you probably just have to say it's the Midtown Fox and campus police will know exactly who the perpetrator is.

In Conclusion

It seems every day we get ever closer to the zombie apocalypse.  Today it's the foxes, tomorrow it will be the world!  Remember what I said about trusting the internet earlier?  Keep your head and don't be too alarmed.  After all, what does the fox say?

Addendum: Hopefully this will be illustrated soon, I'll update as I get illustrations for key points.