How to get rid of a fruit fly infestation in 10 easy steps:
(1) Clean your kitchen top to bottom, sanitizing all surfaces.
(2) Remove any fruit or vegetables from countertop surfaces. Store in enclosed containers or a fridge, as is appropriate for the fruit or veg.
(3) Use a little vinegar or bleach to clean out the garbage disposal after running half a lemon or lime through it.
(4) Take out the trash and sanitize all waste bins thoroughly.
(5) Go to the gas station.
(6) Buy several gallons of gasoline.
(7) Pour the gasoline liberally over any and all surfaces that have been associated with the fruit flies.
(8) Strike a match and watch the house burn to the ground from a safe distance.
(9) Relocate to a tropical island.
(10) Repeat until you finally escape the fruit flies.
I'm kidding - PLEASE don't commit arson. It's just getting annoying - they have decided that the filtered water out of the fridge is a great water source so I can't get ice out of the dispenser without killing a small handful of the little buggers. I have worked with them for research projects before, their life cycle is really short but they can live off of very, very limited food resources, even the junk in the drain, and reproduce so exponentially you wouldn't even be able to imagine it unless you'd done work with them in the past. All will be well here in two weeks, using only bleach or vinegar, and no arson will be committed.
*No gasoline was harmed in the making of this post.*
*Edit: In Step 9 it should be noted that the relocation should be accompanied by a considerate and attractive partner of whatever gender you prefer to ensure mental health during the transition. I would recommend also ensuring it is accompanied by a spiced rum and coconut beverage, as ethanol is a great disinfectant and coconut water a wonderful source of electrolytes. White sand and crystal clear waters also recommended but not required.*
No comments:
Post a Comment